No baby

Hello to you all. I have been really bad to post but that is in large part to bad internet cord. I will tell you that I am not 35 1\2 weeks pregnant and dilated 3 and 80% effaced. Dr. said that he had to reach around her head to feel my cervix so that means that she is bulging thru. wooo hoooo. He told me that anytime after 36 weeks, we could go. We have had the steroid shots and we have our NSTs done every week and she is just beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. She likes to tease me and her daddy by throwing in some contractions here and there. Ahhhhh I will keep you posted.

WOW, thank you!

WOW!

I have to say that when I started blogging it was a vent and then it turned into a place to connect to people that were suffering what DH and I were. What I found was a community of love. We are so close to one another whether you only read just a few blogs or you are like me and you have a core you read everyday and then you venture out several times a week to see more. I have to say that the core group of ladies that I comment and read are the best. I know, I know you have the best ladies too. Well I came home yesterday to a wonderful, delicious package….. see……

Melissa sent J these 3 wonderfully cute outfits. She is going to look so cute in them. Say it with me now…. Aweeeee!!!!! Thank you so much Melissa. Your Eve is just the cutest little darling I have seen. I am so happy for you and your DH as I know your journey.

On the home front, we are fine. I have been having some mild contractions but that is normal. The only thing that is concerning to me though is the pressure I feel. I feel like my water is on the verge of breaking. If that makes sense. I also feel as though my pelvic, pubic bone is going to break. It aches and is painful when turning over in the bed. My belly is hard as a rock and DH gets worried. I try to assure him that this is okay. Is it?

Since I have not done it, here is my 32 week picture. I think I am finally looking pregnant and not just bloated. Lol.

We have our biweekly appt tomorrow and we will start the NST scans next week. See there is where the blog world comes in again. I had never heard of that until Melissa and then several others of you had to have them. I am so at peace about what they are doing. I also get to talk to him about induction at 38 weeks. Whew..... you realize that is only 5 weeks away right?! Well I do. I also realize that he has told me if I go into labor at 36 weeks, he is going to let it happen. Well OMG, that is only 3 weeks away.

My last day of work is next week and so I plan to nest then. I really am not looking forward to leaving but I am ready for some sleep. Getting up at 4:15 in the morning and not being able to lay down due to dinner and homework and cleaning... yuck until 9:30 is killing me. It is making me sick and I am over it.

I so need to post the pictures from the shower. I can’t talk about it just yet without crying still. It was the sweetest thing ever. I also was thrown a little shower by the girls in my bible study. That was one to make me tear up as well. I will post those within the next few days.

Thank you to all of you that read. You brighten my day and I don’t know what I would have done without you.

Pregnancy oops!!!

Okay, this will not be long as I have to get back to bed but I wanted to share with you something that happened. I will update you a little first. Last week I saw the dr and he said that yep, I am officially a gestational diabetic. Nope not good news..... Baby was fine just have to go for NSTs starting next week. Soooo with that being said, now for the best of the worst....

Yesterday right after getting to work, I went back down to the truck in order to move it for a better spot (long story) well as I came around one of the crates, I did not see the board that was sticking out from the side of the crate on the ground and you guessed it, I tripped and fell. Now I can tell you that it replays in my mind as one of those slow motion movies and I could see myself going down and no matter how hard I tried, I could not turn my body to avoid the inevitable face plant. I did land directly on my pregnant belly. I was horrified, scared to say the least. I pulled myself over to my cell and put it back together as it was eating its demise once hitting the pavement. I called for one of the guys I work with and he came very quickly to assist me.

I was taken to the company hospital and waited there for DH to get there. He then drove me to the hospital to be checked out. I was terrified as I had not felt J move since the fall and I couldn't control my fear. I lay in the hospital bed for a few minutes and she started up. She was on it too. I mean that child was practicing for the Olympics. All of this to tell you that J is fine. Heart rate is perfect. No contractions and no dilation. DH and I could not be more grateful to the lord above for this.

I want all of you to know that read and are currently pregnant, that they are not making it up. You really are front heavy and falls come easier to you. Please take care of yourself and please try to avoid the boards. haha.

WOW! 30 weeks

I say that I am 30 weeks but I am within just a few days of being 31 weeks. I am in shock. haha. I am blessed beyond measure to have made it this far and I don't take for granted 1 day or even 1 movement. I am surrounded with such wonderful, supportive and loving people.

My shower is Saturday and I am so excited. DH has been working on the patio and making sure that everything looks good for me. I am smiling from ear to ear talking about him. I will have to take pictures of my new rose garden and all of the beautiful plants that I got to put out. I love to garden but now only if it is all sitting in the bed of the truck and I can reach it easily. lol.

Here are just a few pictures of DH working so hard on the patio. Look how filthy he is...... That is just plain sexy to me. haha. He should be glad that after 15 years of me being married to him, I still say that. haha. All right 31 week belly shots to come.

*sniff* My favorite daily read http://aliciamillis.typepad.com/alicia/ gave me an award!!!! Might I add that it is my first award so I am going to take it and run.....

The rules of the award: 1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. 2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap." Well, there's no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. 3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

1. I struggle with self confidence
2. I love my 13 year-old to no end
3. I secretly desire my DH to lay rose petals on the bed (lol)
4. I have 2 wonderful dogs
5. I play on the internet too much
6. I sit in J's room sometimes and sniff the new baby cloths
7. My DH is a recovering Alcoholic
8. We are stronger for the above.... I love that man...
9. I have a horrible phobia of rats (yes they are all rats, white, brown, small, big ) *yuck*
10. I am nervous over this baby!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 7 are... (I am not good with the posting the names and not the links.... sorry guys)

http://melissaandjeffrey.blogspot.com/

http://baby-loss.blogspot.com/

http://www.wannabeafertileturtle.blogspot.com/

http://carryingacrystalbox.blogspot.com/


http://jewels320.blogspot.com/

http://amandalyn717.blogspot.com/

http://elanasmusings.blogspot.com/

Update on house and baby

OH, OH, OH look at the ticker, I am below 100 days. woooo hoooo. I do have news on the sugar test... I bombed. I mean she told me that anything under 140 was fine. Well I pegged a 201. Yep, not great. I have been put on a diet and anything I crave has been taken away. lol. I am fine with this and now my sugar stays between 76 and 100 so that is fantastic. Baby J is doing great but she is measuring about 2 weeks ahead so we will be monitoring her closley. hmmmm big baby you say? lol

I am so sorry that I have been gone so lone. Thank you so much to everyone that came over from LFCA. Your sweet connections keep me going. We have been moved in for a week and a half now and OMG, it is great. the house looks fantastic and is still in the works but for now, I am playing with decorations and such. Jessica's room is just about done but I will have to show you some "in work" pictures cause the bed is bought and so is the changing table. (it is a $200 table that I got for $60 from Sears) woooo hooooo. There is so much I want to share but I really need to get my thoughts in order so for now, I leave you with updated pictures.... Oh and a question....

I am 26w5d pregnant. (wooo hoo for that) and I feel her move everyday, all day. I have to say that in the last 3 days it has changed. Where I used to could feel her high, I can't now. She is low and I mean low. I think she is dancing a jig right above my anus (TMI, sorry) and whoo, whoo. It is so bad that I think she is going to stick a foot thru one of those places. It is sometimes painful. I just would like to know if this is normal. That may sound dumb but I don't remember this feeling from before. Again, thank you so much for your kind words.......

Here is the living room, Shelves in the corner need to be fixed and the "stuff" needs to be put on them. Look at my sweet Hannah laying on the couch. lol.


Oh here is my kitchen. Oh how I love it. I love the stools that I got from Hudson's for $8 a piece and I love that island that was $289 and I got it for $115. I also love the new fridge but that was not on sale. lol.

this is J's room. I still have squares to paint in there that will be red but for now, this is looking good. hehe.

This is the hallway. I just wanted to show that my pictures are starting to be hung. Daddy and Thomas are in the house and that was a touching moment for me to see their faces. Man I miss them. They would be so happy for us.

this is standing in the living room looking at the "foyer". I am still looking for that just right table to put there.

here is the den. As you can see I collect wedding dolls. My MIL and FIL would get me one every year for Christmas. Oh how I love them. I will have to show you pictures one day of them up close.

Ahhhh, and here is the start of lil J's room. That is my BeFri for 16 years painting her flower on the purple wall. hehe. Pictures do not do that Lavender color justice.

Just a little more suspense, here is the knob that we have to go back out to Lowes to buy because, I thought it would look okay and DH thought it would be great. Wellll he was right and now I have to go get more for the changing table pulls. Shhhh don't tell him I told you that.

And here you go, this is J's room. *sniff* I know it is not done and it still needs the shelves and the pictures hung but I am so happy with it. Our glider will be here this weekend and I am going to make DH hang everything else. Oh and o you see the princess ribbon canopy that is finally hanging. haha. I am in love with this room.



With all of that said, I want you to know that even typing this makes me weepy. I love this house and I just can't believe we are back in it right now.

sleep and 24 weeks

Well again, not so good on the posting situation. When you have a migraine that lasts almost 4 days and when it does ease off for just a minute of peace, you finally want to talk to your family. Haha.

So far so good. I am only 3 days from being 24 weeks. Wooooohoooooo. I am not for sure why I keep measuring this pregnancy in milestones. There was the inevitable 6 week mark and then the 12 week out of the first trimester sigh of relief . Then there was the milestone of feeling her move and now the milestone of making it to viability. I think the next one will be to just make it to delivery. Haha.

DH and I have several Mardi Gras things coming up including some of the wonderful Balls that are thrown by different organizations. I really am not up for the formal attire that these require but man are they fun. Pretty gowns and costumes, loads of friends that you have not seen in a while. You just can’t help but enjoy.

So here is a 24 week picture. Man look at that belly. I am getting on out there. I can’t sleep worth a flip. I am not complaining. Just stating a fact. Haha.

ahhhhh a pregnant migrane sucks

So yesterday was horrible. I had a migrane like never before. I couldn't talk, keep my eyes open or function at anything. I was so miserable. DH took me home and took great care of me. He made sure that my heat pack was kept warm and made it dark in the living room and he even took care of dinner. Oh how I love that man. I am on travel for work tonight and I didn't even pack a bag last night. I had to rush and get things together this morning which included leaving my laptop. So not funny. I am however looking forward to the Sheraton deep bath with an unlimited supply of hot water. lol.

Just a suggestion to you, if you ever need a heating pack and don't have one, let me give you a suggestion.....
Take a sock and fill it with rice (uncooked) and tie a knot in the end. Put it in the microwave for about a minute at time until desired heat. There you go. You can mold it to any shape you need for any pain you have. DH's doctor told us about it and it is awsome. It will keep for a long time as you are not really cooking the rice and it holds heat for about 45 minutes. I love it.

Movement and fear

So with the computer down this weekend. I am not making my 365 blog. Sooooooo I will just try my best from here on out.

I read a post by Alicia and I laughed most of the morning. She blogged about her obsessive pantie checking. Come on, you know what I am talking about. Infertility affects you in a different manor and for me it was the same as her. It has now progressed on to an obsession over movement. I am happy that I can feel our little baby girl is moving regularly but it is also a time when if I don't feel her for an hour or so, I freak out. Last night was the worst so far. You see, I had been very active with trying to get the front room cleaned for the nursery for B and last night when I went to bed which is normally a very active time was very quiet. I was very frightened by this. I didn't sleep well because of this. I find myself poking on my belly to make her move so that she will move around. After last night and the poking was not working at all. It took until this morning to feel her rolling and kicking and punching. It was a relief. I am terrified of not feeling her move for a while. It bothers me. I have faith that the Lord is going to keep our daughter safe and healthy, I just can't loose that fear.

Infertility sucks and all who have went thru it know what I mean. It is hard to move past the fear and move past the sense of something going wrong. I will work toward making that better. whew, that felt better to get it off of my chest. Thanks for listening.