I think it is time that I face my reality. I think that it is time I find a place to vent. I am in a place in my life where decisions need to be made and looked at yet I avoid them. Thank you all for reading and standing by me in one of my hardest times of infertility.

I have started another blog and yet it is not anything like this one. It is not full of happy thoughts of baby girl and all that goes with being her mom. It is my deep down places that hopefully I can crawl back from.

If you would like to still follow, you can email me at jennij74 at yahoo dot com. thank you for all of your support. I will never forget. From time to time, I will drop in and update Jess and her growth. I mean, this is where she started right? haha.

Back from the hole

Good morning, or afternoon. whichever time you are reading. lol. I feel horrible that I have not been updating. I really do come here and peak in every now and again but I just can't seem to stop and post. There is alot going on in our lives right now and some not so good. I really don't want to go into detail on here as there is the possibility of someone finding it. I really do need a place to vent and so I think that I will start another blog direct it there. Soooooo for now, let me tell you the good things...

Jessica got her first tooth

Jessica gave me a scare with a lump in her breast (infected duct)

She is up to 22 lbs and I think that now that she is REALLY mobile, she is loosing.

I work more than I care to. lol

She is eating table food with baby food supplements

She is only taking 3 bottles a day and really that is only as a comfort I think as she doesn't drink it all

She loves, loves, loves her bubba. (god I know DHs daddy is up there putting in a good word for us so thank you for listeing and blessing us with 2 GREAT children)

I will post the new site within the next few but here are some pictures to look at and make your day. lol.

I finally made it to the 100th post!!!

This has been a long journey and you guys have stayed right there. I love you all.

Jessica,

Today you are 6 months old. Today you have been here with us for 6 months. Sometimes, I think I have to tell myself that because it feels like just yesterday and in some ways with the wait and trying for you, it feels as you have been blessing our days for a while. This post marks my 100th post (finally) and I find it only fitting to write the 100 things I love about you.

I love your smile
I love your giggle when you see your bubba
I love how you sing to me in the morning when I get you up
I love how you grab your feet now when I am changing your diaper
I love how you are stingy with your kisses
I love that your hair is finally growing and it is thick
I love that you eat baby food 3 times a day
I love the look on your face when I feed you tutti frutti
I love the look of OMG what is this when I give you carrots.
I love how you get excited when “Wilbur” is on TV
I love how you dance in your activity center
I love how you jump and laugh in your jenny jump up
I love how you pull on “killers” fur
I love how you like to kiss hannah (dog) when she lays by you
I love how you try to be a big girl and sit up in your swing
I love how when you are tierd, you rub your eyes
I love when you fall asleep sometimes when I feed you
I love how you have peed on me twice while getting you ready for your bath
I love how you play with the toys on your carrier
I love how you are teething and so close to them breaking thru
I love the old man face you make when your gums are bothering you
I love go to hell you give when you are mad
I love the squell of excitement when you hear a lot going on
I love the look of intense concentration when looking at something new
I love how your daddy uses his shoes to hold your toy in place
I love how you can roll over
I love how you can use the above to get you almost anywhere
I love that you are trying to crawl
I love the inch worm move on your back to move over
I love how much you love your bubba
I love how much you love your daddy
I love how much you love mommy
I love how much you love mimi
I love how much you love brandon
I love how you sleep all night
I love that I can give you a bottle and you go right back down most mornings
I love how you strain to reach the floor in your walker
I love how you are excited to see me in the afternoon after work
I love the look you give in the morning when I am leaving.
I love the way you strain to get out of the carrier when you have had enough
I love how you can turn my bad days into great ones.
I love how when you want the music turned up you sing loud to let me know
I love how when you are ready for the truck to move, you grunt
I love that you can stay the night somewhere else and you are an angel
I love how you love on everyone
I love how you are a social baby
I love your chin
I love your nose
I love how you look like your daddy
I love that you are the spitting image of your bubba
I love how you will keep the bows on your head (for a little while)
I love how you will yank them off and try to eat them
I love how you hate hats.
I love how you hate shoes
I love how you hate socks
I love how you hate to be confined
I love how you love your crib
I love that you love your mobile
I love how you like to look cute (I know cause you smile)
I love that you love music
I love that you have to have it to go to sleep
I love how you sing to me when I wake you up
I love how you have to stretch big before I can change your diaper
I love when you are tierd and you rub you eyes so cute
I love how you look like a frog on the floor when trying to crawl
I love how when you think no one is watching you move all over the place
I love how you talk to your toys
I love how you recognize your bottle now
I love how you hold you bottle
I love how you love your mobile and try to tear it up
I love how I am so excited to see you in the afternoon
I love our bath times
I love when you get a bath alone, you splash me
I love how you are so cute with your earings
I love how youhate your carseat and want out
I love how inquisitive you are with things outdoors
I love how you love Pandora the kitten
I love how you love to slide on the countertops
I love your face when I blow on your belly
I love how you can sit on your own
I love how that makes you mad to sit
I love how you are always entertained
I love how all the women in the store go wild over your thighs
I love how you are so smart and big and people think you are older
I love how you love to rock
I love that you like to sit and read with me
I love how you love your bears
I love how you can give kisses for an hour
I love that you are here
I love that we have you for ours
I love that you came in your own time to us
I love that you have your paw-paws personality
I love that you have your daddys temper (not really)
I love how you were born healthy
I love that you are here.
I love being your mommy
I love that you are my daughterI love that you are the best baby ever!!!

Update long overdue

So life has been hectic and I am not for sure how much longer I can keep up this blog but I am sure going to try. Here is a post in pictures. My next post with be my 100th and I am working on it with the 100 things I love about Jessica. I am sure there will be so much more to it than that but I am going to try. Lol. Here is a post in pictures of the last month…..

Baby Girl is getting so big and is such a blessing... Look at that smile....

I love this face as it is saying, what in the world do you want! haha

Jake got his hair cut. Yes, really the golden locks of wonderful that came down past his neck and hung in his eyes are gone!!!!

Sister loves the new do, see her trying to give him a kiss afterwards

Well this picture speaks volume. You see for months 1-3 she slept in the bed with us... Yes I know but I couldn't help it. She had baby dust that helped me sleep. haha. Months 3-5 she slept in the cradle in out room until one night I woke up to her crying because she had gotten her arm stuck in the rungs of the bed and couldn't move. I really thought that she was going to break her arm, which leads us to her first night in her own bed. *sniff* She is out of our room and in her room all night. I am better about this now than I was before. haha.

Now this is why I am not online to post very often..... Jake is in band and it consumes my life on Friday mornings and Friday nights. We have had competition for the last 2 weeks and I am proud to say that they scored *superior*. Jake is in the drum line. I did flags in high school so this is a fun time for him and I to share stories about bus rides and such. I love it and yes sister goes to every game, even the rainy ones although mom sits in the truck with her when this happens. hahaha

Now for yesterday.... Here is my chunky monkey on the way to the fair. The next few say it all. She was all dolled up and everyone loved the outfit. She also has an orange hat that she wore due to the wind. It was great. hehe. See how cute.

I am still keeping up with your blogs. Amanda, your package finally went out yesterday. I am so sorry. Michele, I need your address so I can send out Bobby and Maya a happy. Alicia, you need to post. I miss pictures of that beautiful blessing. Melissa, Eve is so big now. I love seeing you on facebook all of the time with pictures and video. Cynthia, I can't wait to see new pics of the twins.

Take care everyone and I will be on the lookout for your updates.

Howdy Strangers

Good morning to you all. I am so sorry that I have not been here in like, FOREVER!. We all know that life is hectic with a little one. I wanted to post today as I was looking and cleaning out my favorites. I had a folder named INF and within that one, I had sub folders that were named Trying and Prego in order. I progressively moved them from one folder to the other and ticked them off of the trying category. I used to love doing that. I would hate it if I had to move someone back due to a loss. Well while checking in on everyone, I noticed that out of the 25 blogs I was reading. ( I still used your links to view others at times. lol) I realized that all but 1 was pregnant and now has a little one. It made me cry. I felt as though life had now got in the way of the connection that kept me going for so long. You guys are the best. I love you all and I truly mean that. I see your pictures of your wonderful children and I pray for them to live healthy prosperous lives.

As for us, well we are doing fine. Okay so let me hit the high and low points....

* Jessica turned 4 months old. (pics at bottom)

* The anniversary of my brothers death and our finding out we were pregnant was a very emotional day for me.

* while on the way to the memorial (doing full speed down I-20) we were rear ended by a woman doing 120 mph. (we are all fine and I was the only banged up) Oh and she was not insured! We only have liability on the truck sooooooo you can imagine the state we are in driving a crinkled beded truck. (I loved my truck too)

*Jessica is wonderful. All except the screaming fit she throws right before bed now. I don't know how to tame this.

* My oldest started high school. OMG! REALLY? He is a freshman and he plays drums in the band. Our favorite time of the week now is Friday night games and yes little sister has to be there rain or shine (with alot of umbrellas. lol)

Here is some juicy goodness for you too look at. Taken with MIL camera so not the greatest. I really need to have new pics taken.

She loves her bubba. He is so great with her. Sometimes in Wal-Mart, I wonder if people think she is his. lmao!

Don't you love the bib.

Look at that smile. I just want to eat her up.

Just cause I could have beat my son for this pic. I was not happy about something and poor Jess looks stressed out. hahaha

Good morning to you all. I am quickly approaching my 100th post. I wanted to show you how big Jessica is getting. She is 12 weeks old today and yet she will be 3 months next week. *sniff*.

We kept B last weekend and look at how cute they are…. I asked him if he wanted to hold the baby and he climed in the rocker and held his arms out… awe, how cute.

Here he is kissing her. Say it with me…. Awe!!!

Everyone says how much she looks like her bubba, which would mean that she looks like her daddy. But when I saw this picture, I thought she looked like me…. I don’t get those moments very often.

Smiling at mommy….

Talking to mommy, see her mouth, she is talking up a storm. You know that clip on youtube where the little girl is just talking up a storm, well that is Jessica, she talks and sings all of the time. We love it. Haha.

Here is the Bumbo seat. She loves it when we sit her in front of the activity center. It makes her mad when it stops though.


See how focused she is on it.

Here is the OMG, get this freakin bow off of my head. Lol. I love the outfit. She is really good about bows but for some reason, she didn’t like this one.

I am going to have to post on my DH’s new found love of gardening. You should see his handy work. I love my back patio and he is the reason for it. More to come on that.

Hello everyone. I have been such a bad blogger and it is just simply put... laziness... Jess takes all of my extra time. I love cuddling with her. I thought you would all appreciate our 4th pictures so here you go..... Funny story to be told along the way.

Here is the princess in her 4th get up....


Above is Stone Mountain just outside of Atlanta. For those of you who have never been there on the 4th of July, I strongly encourage you to go. It is the most patriotic thing I have ever seen. Below is the princess in the lake, can you tell how much she really loves water. She got mad when we took her out. lol. While at Stone mountain, we had to wait 5 hours before the show started and as you will see in another picture, we were fighting for every inch we could get. Jess was happy that it was not TOO hot. It was warm, don't get me wrong. We tried to keep her cool but she just wasn't happy and no matter how much time we spent in the AC, she wouldn't take a bottle and I am thinking it was a combination of everything. Here she is being calmed by her daddy..... Say it with me.... Awe!!
Daddy again, kissing the unclothed child. lol.

One of the only things to keep her happy was to let her stand (on her own, mind you)

Now you see above how crowded it was. Just for reasons of explanations... there were over 150,000 there. You can see from the picture that there were no empty spots. Now keep this in mind as you look at the picture below and you remember that I said, Jess would not take a bottle. Please also keep in mind that I only breastfeed at night before bed. I am very shy about the feeding. So shy in fact that I would only feed her at home and once I went to work, I pumped just so she could have it and I wouldn't have to do it in public. I know, I know, we will have to have this discussion later. That is the ONLY time Jess gets the boob. Well this day, she made it clear that she wanted it and she was going to get it. It was the only thing she would take to make her feel better cause you know mommies make babies feel better all of the time. My MIL thought I was brave for doing this and believe you me, I was embarrassed and upset to do this but I had no choice. There was another woman just sitting in the open with hers flopped out for the world to see and I knew I couldn't do that so here is the pic of me feeding her... can't even tell huh. I felt better once I talked to another lady that said I should just ask people who stare if they want to know what I am doing and if they say anything, tell then, "well you have to eat too." Okay the man behind me could tell what I was doing and I thought my MIL was going to have to say something for the looks we were getting from around us. Oh well.And this below is what you get when you give her what she wanted and needed. A sleeping baby that is so relaxed, we all wish we could sleep like that don't we? haha. Just for those who are saying that we never should have had her out there. First, she was not the only one out there and out of the 5 babies I saw around us (all around her age) We were the only one with the battery operated fan as seen in the picture. She loved it and she was never hot to the touch.

Ya ll take care and I would love to see your 4th pictures.